I call Bullshit!!

It has been awhile since my last blog, and I appologize for that. I have had to take some time to really chanel all my energy back into my show and my goals. There has been a lot of bullshit going on around me and I decided enough is enough. It started to affect my workouts, sleep, and diet....I finally sat back and reevaluated what I want and what I am doing. Dont fret I am back on track and stronger than ever! So many times we get wrapped up in bullshit whether it be our own or others...I for one care WAY too much about what people say/think about me and with all the other struggles and drama going on around me, I realized it was breaking me....and Im a tough little cookie...so to say that is a big deal. I have come back with a new mindset that I don't care any more. I know what my goals are and I know how badly I WANT this show! Nothing will stop me and as a good friend of mine Dorian has put the mindset in me "Failure's No Option"! I will not be defeated by anyone or anything, I will be at my BEST come Border States, and I WILL be taking the overall!! They say go big or go home, and I am sticking to that saying. As hard as things have been, my coach is right when he says "this isn't even the hard part"...so with everything cleared out of my head besides my destination in October, I am destroying it in the gym like Ive never done before and am pushing myself WAY past my limit. I am impressed with my progress thus far...I know I dont post any progress pics...Im just not very comfortable with my posing, so looks like you all will only be getting end results lol. My bodyfat has come down another percent in a week and my weight has continued to drop. I have a meeting with my coach tonight, and we will see if I can impress him with my progress. 64 Days out from Border States, I honestly can't wait to step out on that stage!

Why do it?!

Recently at work I have had many coworkers question why I train for shows and "torture" my body with these insane diets. I really sat down and thought of all the reason why I love living this lifestyle. My coach pointed one reason out to me many time....this is one thing in life that I have absolute control of. I can make my body look a certain way and I can control how it will transform. Life can be a hectic, and very uncontrolable....to have the power to have complete control of something you want and to watch the changes your body makes along the way is an undescribable feeling. Another reason I love doing this is because I am a gym rat, I love training and kicking my own ass in the gym. Seeing what my body can take, pushing it past my limit and living up to the FNO mindest is what I live for! I see my weights go up every week and I get that drive to push myself even harder, not to mention I love the look I get from guys when I can push more weight than they can. The rush of addrenaline I get when I step out on the stage and show off all my hard work is what I look forward to every show, it really is one of the best feelings, not to add the feeling of accomplishment I recieve after every progress picture, show, and training sesh. Now I must add how much I LOVE fish and not eating any carbs...haha Im kidding...leaning out for a show, diet wise, is not my favorite thing. It makes me grumpy, tired and boy does it mess with your head....but the results are the reasons why I will eat that much fish and greens. Many people don't understand why we do this to ourselves and why we push ourselves past our limits in the gym, and this blog is to help people better understand why I do this and what I go through to get where I want to be.

Lets get some motivation

So I am officially 87 days out from Border States and staying focused and motivated is so important. I have many things that keep me focused and motivated, but one of my favorite things for that are videos by Zhasni. Here is one that helped me so far through this week...

Lets hear what helps keep you focused and motivated!

"Kick Start"

For those who don't know me very well, I am not one to talk about myself. My coach and I have been working together since April, and he recommended that through this prep I should try blogging to keep myself as sane as possible. I have always been into playing sports, my one love though is softball. I have been playing since I was 8 years old. I had played all the way up until my freshman year in college when I had injured my arm and needed reconstructive surgery on my shoulder. This required me to take a year off of any lifting, moving, ANYTHING. August of last year I started training  for my first bikini show which took place at the Chandler Center for the Arts Nov. 6th. I had been to one show before my own and decided I might as well give it a shot since I could no longer play softball. I can't even begin to tell you how nervous I was to walk out on that stage in the smallest bikini I had ever been in, in my entire life, with heels I could hardly walk in, while my knees were shaking so bad. I ended up taking 5th place and thought to myself walking off that stage...I'm hooked.

I then continued to train for my March show. With many ups and downs along the road, I managed to channel all that into my workouts and make (in my opinion) my best appearance in my March show. I came a long way from when I first started, trained harder, and knew more about what to expect and what I was doing to get that first place I was dying to have. I ended up coming in at 120lbs, taking 7th place. For me, I was crushed, but it pushed me to think that I would like to have a bit more competition.

After deciding to cross over to figure, I found my coach Dusty Hanshaw. He has helped me a tramendous amount in getting my body to where it is now and where it will be in October. During this prep I have amazed myself with how much my body can really take and learned how to push myself past my limit. This has been a whole new experience for me, and trust me the changes I have made haven't been easy for me. I have now gained 30lbs since my March show, I hardly fit into any of my clothes, and I constantly have some sort of melt down about how "big" I am to my coach. At the end of the day I can't tell you how proud of myself I am, and how much I appreciate my coach and all those who have supported me through all of this. I have a lot to do before October and I hope you are all gonna hop on for the ride!